EXHAUSTED BY WORRY: STEPPING INTO AWAKENING
Waiting for something. Waiting for a change to take place. Waiting for things to take a new shift and direction to what you have grown accustomed to being. I feel as if my life has been filled with waiting that consumed my very existence. Unavailable people and situations that seemed to step into my life that soon became incapable of meeting my expectations.
The question became how do you break free of the exhaustion of worry….
I began to recognize something within myself that I wasn’t fully aware of in my life at the time. I given up on myself. I slowly began to let myself go without me even knowing it. I slipped into a slippery slope of self-loathing.
I slowly fallen away from the gifting and purpose that I knew existed on the inside of me. At times, I didn’t know that I was depressed. I would sit for hours and hours watching television. It became a comfortable place for me. Television became the long lost friend that gave comfort to a lonely girl’s soul. It doesn’t talk back and it keeps you entertained.
Oh, I forgot to mention…Yes, it is very loyal to you.
You can always count on it to be there and it would never change on you.
Discontentment began to creep into my heart, my relationships and more so, my relationship with God. I felt a major disconnect with my husband. I felt a disconnected to myself. Most of all, I felt disconnected from church. The church is where I found out who I was and where I was able to find God. It was hard for me to deal with this wrestling in my heart. I felt instead not seen like a ghost fading to white into the background.
I realized that I was unhappy with the way my life had ended up. In order for me to survive something had to change. In these moments, something began to take an awakening inside of me. I began to realize the worry was coming out of fear. Fear of stepping out on what my heart desire was to do. The questions that attack me constantly attacked my mind was the, “What if’s?”
What if I fail?
I don’t have enough money?
Your too old and it’s too late…
Does this self-talk sound familiar? It says in the word of God in…
Matthew 6: 26-27 if reads, “ Behold the birds of the heaven, that they sow not, neither do the reap, nor gather into barns; and your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are not you much more valuable than they?
This was an eye opener for me. I had to let go of relying on man. Meaning relying on a capitalistic system to take care of me. I was sinking in worry and doubt about full filling a long held dream. I couldn’t step out for the life of me. I was paralyzed by worry. It took over my thoughts where I couldn’t make a step forward.
If you are there believe me you are not alone. This is a time where mothers hiding behind husbands, hiding behind broken dreams, and broken relationships. It’s time to step out of the shadows. Unveiled Mother will walk you through my journey and into a place of self-reflection on stepping into your most authentic self.
The book will be on Pre-order on Amazon and available for download on Kindle. Click here to order UnVeiled
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About Syreeta Gordon
Syreeta Gordon is a mom blogger, author, freelance content writer and social media strategist that works alongside small businesses, helping them craft their message and build their reputation to broaden audience and create leads. Her passion is to empower women that feel stuck to get out of their own way.