In my first pregnancy, I recalled all the negative world wind of emotions that I lived through at the time.
The shame that overshadowed the feeling of wanting to experience the joy. When all you would like to be is happy in birthing your first child. Instead there was the fear that continued to loom over your head. As you think to yourself. Are you able to be a mother? Can you even afford this? I feel so alone? As a young woman in her twenties about to take on this heavy responsibility. A responsibility that I wasn’t ready nor prepared to take on at the time.
The one memory I had was not only living through that feeling of not being celebrated or loved. After living through family rejection of my unborn child. The crushing feeling of knowing that I was going to raise a child on my own. It became too much to bear.
After all, every mother would like to have that baby shower. I denied myself the feeling that I even wanted one for my first born. Because, the thought that no one was going to come anyways. And, would my family be there to support me through it. And, why I would get my hopes up for something like this to be let down.
When living though all these negative emotions in my twenties. I knew after becoming pregnant in my late thirties that I wanted to celebrate life. I wanted to experience all the joy that I missed in my twenties. The fear did seep in because I have little to any close friends which I can probably count on one hand. I was surprised by the support that I received this time around from my friends and family.
The only stress that I experienced was planning the shower. This time around with Pinterest and so much inspiration floating on the internet. The hardest part was narrowing it down to a theme. Perhaps, what colors to choose. I really was back and forth in deciding if I wanted to do a gender reveal party or not. I actually kept the babies gender a secret for months. Until my mother finally broke me down to spill the beans.
Yes, she got it out of me to reveal that we were having a baby girl. Sheesh!
In not actually planning all this. I was honored to be able to experience a mother shower. After experiencing both. I feel as if the mother shower was so much more rewarding. You may ask what is a mother shower. Well, it originated starting in Khemet (Egypt) traditions where the mother was celebrated with prayers, gifts and other rituals. The purpose is to shift the focus to the pregnant mother by helping her prepare for her birth in her last trimester.
Even though my mother shower happened a little backwards. My friends came to my house after the baby was born. They not only showered me and the baby with gifts. They all prayed for the child and myself that filled my heart to overflow. It was such an emotional experience. I could not keep the tears from flowing.
The house was filled with so much love and support. The women honored my child with their word that they would be there for her. After experiencing both the mother shower/blessing way and the baby shower. I gotta say that I am leaning more towards the mother shower. After walking through both experiences, it seems we make over the life that is about to come into this world. Which is a beautiful thang. But, it leaves a much greater impact when we bless the mother.
As the elder woman that has walked down the motherhood road. They open to share much needed words of wisdom. As well as, prayer that will up lift the child and the mother.
You know what I realized? This is exactly what we don’t see enough of in our families and our communities. The elder women blessing the younger ones. I would like to hand down what my beautiful friends did for me to younger women. Just sharing my motherhood mistakes and words of wisdom. As we groom the next generation to become stronger mothers.
As I experienced what it feels like a brand new mother all over again. It gets hard caring for a young child. If we just observe the young women around us that may need a blessing. Why wait? It’s best to bless them now.
As you are coming into figuring out your call as you may be knee deep on motherhood or you just may be a new mother. There is no time like the present to become unveiled.
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