The Responsibility of Service in Love & Marriage
There was a time I thought my marriage was over before it even began. My expectation of marriage and relationships was all based on what I seen on television or in the movies. Where most marriages start off hot and heavy. My fairytale beginning had a different start to the story that began to fizzle. Quick fast and in a hurry. It was a struggle and we seemed to be walking on egg shells every day.
Yes, everything in your being will fight against the responsibility of service to your marriage. It’s time to get beyond how you feel and shift your focus.
Where was the passion?
This was the question that was screaming inside of my heart and my spirit. Shortly, after getting married, my husband seemed closed shut to me and mines began to shut off to him, as well. There was no one to turn to for the answers to my inner question. If this is what marriage is supposed to be like. I don’t want any parts of it. I was ready to walk away from a three year relationship and a three month marriage. We were in trouble! And, I had no one to talk to or to turn to scream, yell and to vent what was going on.
Momma, help me!
I couldn’t get the answers from my mother. I believe majority of black women are in this same predicament. Meaning, there is a generational break down in knowing what a true healthy relationship looks like and should operate. My parents lived with each other for thirty more years and never got married. The relationship to say the least was a rocky one. My mother was an excellent mother. But, I didn’t have an example to form myself in how a wife should be. She gave us an example of mixed signals of how to love and to be in a relationship. She constantly put down my Dad and bashed every part of him as a man. It built up this resistance in me. Where I didn’t trust men, at all.
I turned to the Lord For Answers
The word of God became my comforter in a turbulent time. These words pierced my heart after I prayed, “ Show me how to Love him.” I was pointed to Ephesians 5:33-“So, again I say each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must RESPECT her husband.” Even if as the woman we don’t receive the love that we deserve or should automatically receive. We are commanded to respect him anyway. Now…Hold up! How is that possible? How can we respect someone who isn’t showing any physical evidence of love to us? We must do it in reverence for Christ.
It’s NOT About YOU!
This marriage was a blessing, no matter how much it has lived to my expectations. I made a decision? I am in a covenant between the man that I love and I can not just break it. You first must commit to practicing being faithful. Relying on God to be in the situation. We must wait to see how faithful God can be.
I Challenge You!
This challenge consists of encouraging and praying for him. Everyday take a scripture and pray for your marriage. It will be a service that you will be making to your spouse or husband. You must serve him with reverence and prayer. I decided today, I would serve him with his favorite a steak hoagie with pickles. It will put a smile to his face. But, I hope that every step that I take in choosing love. Love over frustration and love over expectation of what this relationship should be like. This love, I hope will pierce the darkness and every area of my marriage will begin to change.
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